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Rihanna admits that she and Chris Brown are back together: “Even if it’s a mistake, it’s my mistake.”

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So Rihanna has confirmed to Rolling Stone what the whole world (or at least the segment that’s on Twitter) knew for the longest while – she and Chris Brown are back together, four years after he beat her so badly the night before the Grammy awards in 2009.

In a candid interview with Rolling Stone, Rihanna admitted that she knows how it looks to the rest of us outside looking in, saying:

“When you add up the pieces from the outside, it’s not the cutest puzzle in the world. You see us walking somewhere, driving somewhere, in the studio, in the club, and you think you know. But it’s different now. We don’t have those types of arguments anymore. We talk about (stuff). We value each other. We know exactly what we have now, and we don’t want to lose that.”

However, she said at this point, she was more concerned with her own happiness than the world’s opinion of her and their relationship.

“I decided it was more important for me to be happy. I wasn’t going to let anybody’s opinion get in the way of that. Even if it’s a mistake, it’s my mistake.”

So the obvious question is – isn’t she afraid he will beat her again? Apparently not since she told the mag:

“He doesn’t have the luxury of fucking up again. That’s just not an option. I can’t say that nothing else will ever go wrong. But I’m pretty solid in the knowing that he’s disgusted by that. And I wouldn’t have gone this far if I ever thought that was a possibility.”

And what about Brown’s well-publicized outbursts (like busting up the ABC studio, his club fight with Drake and last weekend’s parking spot fight with Frank Ocean) that seem to indicate ongoing “anger issues” (the polite, psycho-babble term for acting like that word Rihanna says Bajans love?) Rihanna is down for her man, saying:

“I know it comes off like that. And it doesn’t help. For a long time he was really angry, and he felt like he couldn’t get away from it, no matter what he did. But there’s so many reasons why I ever reconsidered having him in my life. He’s not the monster everybody thinks. He’s a good person. He has a fantastic heart. “

She added that Brown “made a mistake, and he’s paid his dues,”  and she feels that “sometimes people need support and encouragement, instead of ridicule and criticism and bashing.”

Now to be honest, I have strenuously avoided discussing or analyzing this relationship for the past several months even as it became obvious just what was happening between Rihanna and Chris Brown.

For several reasons (it’s over-analysed, it’s played out, I thought Rihanna in particular was milking it for publicity/notoriety ahead of her album launch, it ain’t my damn business) but mostly because it’s distressing. Truly, honestly distressing.

When everything went sour between these two back in 2009, I was a different person. I thought it was distressing and depressing and disgusting yes but since then I’ve become a mother of a daughter and if someone beat my precious baby that way, I could not even be measured and calm about it. At all.

Rihanna’s comments when pressed about Chris Brown’s too-frequent tantrums in the last few years sound to my ears terribly like the excuses that many battered women make. He’s sorry. Everyone’s being so hard on him. It’s so hard for him.

The abuser almost becomes the victim and the one in need of protection.

And the truth is, Brown’s behaviour was inexecusable at 19 and it’s ridiculous now. I understand he is under more pressure and public scrutiny than the average person and I can even understand the Twitter melt-downs (barely …but I can get it.)

But the fact of the matter is, the average 23 year old man does not walk around getting in as many fights and confrontations as this fella seems to. And some of his blow-ups are just… absurd. Like freaking out at the ABC studios when Robin Roberts tossed a really soft ball question at him – I watched the interview segment – it did not merit a freak out and throwing chairs out the people’s windows. Nah. That is not the behaviour of someone who has their emotions under control.

Not to mention that he seemed to be treating her crazy disrespectful by keeping this on-off thing with his ex(?) girl Karrueche Tran going on – even after they ‘broke up’ back in October, they were still being seen together and there has been a host of not-so-subtle coded Tweets and reports of club confrontations.

But after all of that is said and done…Rihanna would have to know, as we say in the Caribbean. At the end of the day, it is her own life and her own mistake to make and nothing the rest of the world says is going to sway her mind otherwise. For surely, every argument against this relationship and this hot-headed boy has been made.

But this is what they choose to do and it is their life, we’re just watching it.

So now we will avert our eyes.

By Me

island ~ ista
From Latin -ista via Portuguese -ista
one who follows a principle; an adept.

As an islandista I live, embody, exude the spirit of the Caribbean islands.

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